I couldn’t help myself. I had to snap this photo on post yesterday. In case you don’t know what you’re looking at, let me help you out. This is a parent (I assume) driving this 8-year-old boy (I’m estimating) off post in a Jeep Scrambler (yeah, I’d never heard of it either). The child is riding shotgun with no windows and nothing to protect this precious life from flying debris and oncoming traffic but a pair of cheap sunglasses.
Are you kidding me? WHERE are the parenting police? I mean, I know it’s easy for me to sit up here in my ivory, minivan tower and judge those without curtain airbags, but COME. ON.
You know what, Mr. Macho Military Man? I don’t like you because you’re dangerous (insert Val Kilmer biting sound). Son, your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash.
By the way, if you don’t get that reference, then we’re done here. I’ve got nothing for you.
Okay, you can stay. But just know that Top Gun and I go way back. (Just for fun, here is a Top Gun parody to make you laugh.)
Speaking of stellar parenting moves, my mother taught me about sex using that movie as a reference. I kid you not. Granted, it was the PG version. Something like, “well…you know how Maverick kisses Charlie? Yea, that’s pretty much what sex is.” These are the things you won’t find in my baby book. But it’s the kind of stuff that totally should be!
And just so you know, my mother is an awesome, Christian woman who I’m sure never allowed us to watch something as provocative as Top Gun when we were children. Yes, I must have just illegally downloaded it in 1986. That seems historically accurate. Also, I invented the Internet.
Question: What is the most dangerous thing you ever allowed your kid(s) to do? And though this should go without saying, please don’t tell us if it’s illegal. I really don’t want that on my conscience.
i can’t tell you what we allowed our kids to do, just incase my mom ever discovers internet blogging and reads this. she would kill me!!
Yeah, but how many Susans are there in the world? She’ll never know. 😉
I have to say I don’t remember teaching you about sex by using Top Gun as an example! Maybe there is a benefit to old age!
The most dangerous thing that I ever taught Drew and Katy to do is to write! I don’t think any of us are safe!!!
Yes, I suppose you would have mentally blocked out this conversation. I guess you have also forgotten that we had this conversation in front of Drew! You crack me up, mama. 🙂
Does it count that I had to call Poison Control twice in two days? Once because my child took a big bite of deodorant and followed it up the next day by eating a bowl of dog food? I didn’t exactly LET him do those things, but I still look over my shoulder for DFACS to show up once they catch up their paperwork to their archives of calls. It is the government, after all. I figure I’ll hopefully be safe for another couple of years until the kids are old enough to drive away from their temporary custodial home…
Ewww…he would have picked the two most disgusting things to snack on! I’ve heard duct tape over the mouth cures this. 🙂