Homeschool Dropouts

I get so excited about the idea of homeschooling our kids (who are now nearly 3 and 1 1/2). I imagine all the wonderful things I can show them and teach them. And then conversations like this cause me to question my credentials:

(Brian hugs me reeeeeeeally tight.)

Me:  “You’re going to break my ribs!”

Brian:  “That’s okay. Women have an extra rib anyway.”

Me:  “Wait…seriously? I didn’t know that.”

Brian:  “Oh, wow. I’m sending our kids to public school.”

Me:  “That’s pretty hilarious. I’m going to put that on my blog.”

Brian:  “Wait…you may want to Google that first and make sure I’m not wrong.”

And that’s why there should be a strict screening process for parents who plan to homeschool their children.

Is it possible for kids to drop out of homeschooling? Because I have this not-so-irrational fear that ours will do that when they realize that I didn’t completely learn my multiplication tables (curse you, 7’s and 8’s!).

Did I mention that I graduated from college?

I embody everything that is wrong with the American, public school system.

Kids, if you’re reading, just go ahead and learn those multiplication tables and fractions. Trust me on this one. I’ve ruined many a cake in my day.

Truthfully, I’m concerned because our two-year-old already runs circles around me technologically.

Just ignore the pacifier. We plan to wean him after he learns fractions.

And the baby…well, she has me beat in the strong will department (and that’s no small feat).

This, my friends, is an aerial view of a 1-year-old tantrum. I like this photo because she looks like she’s sleeping so peacefully on that rug.

This was after she slapped me in the face.

Sooooo looking forward to hormones. Can’t. Wait.

Fortunately, Brian and I are determined to teach our kids something valuable at home. Like fitness.

Notice both kids are still in pajamas. I’m pretty sure this was taken close to dinnertime.

Fortunately, we’ve had more success teaching our kids Biblical truths. This little Bible is fantastic.

It’s the perfect length to get across the concepts within a toddler attention span. Which, interestingly, is very similar to that of a gnat.

I feel we’ve made great strides in the Bible teaching department. Until conversations like this:

Brian:  “J.J., what did God create on the second day?”

J.J.:  “Train tracks!”

Fortunately, we have Thomas the Train to teach J.J. all about socialism. So, we’ve already excelled in the social studies department.

Aren’t y’all glad I didn’t decide to make teaching my career? Because then I’d be responsible for teaching a lot of kids that women have one extra rib…because God took one away from Adam and gave it to Eve.

Note to parents:  The storybook pictured above does NOT include the whole extra rib conundrum. I already checked.