I read a book once called Men are like Waffles—Women are like Spaghetti, and it was probably one of THE cheesiest (no pun intended) books I’ve ever read. But the points the authors, Bill and Pam Farrel, made were both interesting and pretty hilarious.
In essence—and I’ll just sum up the entire book in a few sentences—men and women are biologically different and therefore process information quite differently:
– Men: Their brains are like waffles. In other words, they are able to compartmentalize information and separate the “work square” from the “home square” from the “Monday Night Football Square” and so on. Also, believe it or not, there is an EMPTY SQUARE (or twelve) that contains no thoughts at all. NOTHING. At all. So, it IS possible for a man to be 100% honest when he says he’s thinking “nothing.”
Ladies, this is ground-breaking information.
– Women: Our brains are like a plate of spaghetti—where every noodle touches every other noodle. We jump from one train of thought to the next like a rabid cat. (I assume rabid cats are very quick jumpers. But I’m no veterinarian.) Basically, ladies, we never shut up. One thought leads to another which leads to another, and we don’t have the ability to turn off “work thoughts” from “home thoughts” from “my teenager hates me” thoughts.
And just so my male readers know, this is a bottomless bowl of spaghetti.
Good luck, guys.
Okay, so Bill and Pam Farrel will probably hate me if they ever read this rough summation of their hard work, but I do have to give them a lot of credit. I think of this analogy all the time.
Take last night, for instance.
I sat in bed in one of the worst “funks” I’ve been in since I can remember. Well, since February. I have a very short memory, apparently.
I just couldn’t get myself out of bed because of the mound of “spaghetti” in my brain.
I questioned whether or not this blog is where I ought to pour my time and energy. Which led me to question how much time I spend with the children focused on their education. Which led me question my capabilities as a housewife. Which led me to question my abilities as a wife in general. Which led me to question my abilities as a human in general. Which led me to purchase a weighted hula hoop on Amazon.
Analyze that, men.
Sometimes, my brain is like a smorgasbord of defeating thoughts, and I have to constantly take myself back to the Word of God to erase all the damage I can do in a single day.
So, if you take all that craziness and add hormones (in the form of birth control) to the mix…well, let’s just say that Brian’s solution was to deliver my favorite dinner in bed.
Spaghetti, ironically.
Also, he brought chocolate. Smartest guy I know.
I told you all of this to give you an update on my “Lady Doc” post.
(Dad, this is where you might like to avert your eyes to avoid permanent damage.)
As you may have already read, I had a Mirena IUD inserted back in early March. And I have had one crazy issue after another: bleeding, nausea, shooting leg pains, headaches, lethargy, and odd rashes to name a few. I tried to tell my doctor that I get every symptom imaginable for every prescription I take, but he was convinced this would be the perfect birth control solution for me.
Actually, this is perfect birth control. I can’t lift my head off the pillow and I’m covered in rashes.
This is called abstinence.
Sooooooooo, now that I just gave you way too much information, I’ll give you a bit more.
I have an appointment today to get this foreign invader ripped from my uterus. Actually, “delicately removed” from my uterus is preferable. I can’t wait.
Let’s all hope these awful symptoms leave town with the IUD or I have a whole lot of splainin to do to Brian.
I’ve been milking this dinner in bed business for all it’s worth.
So sorry you are going through all this! So glad you are having the IUD removed and hope that alleviates all the symptoms right away. Let me know about the weighted hula hoop–sounds interesting!
@Karmen I KNOW! I can hardly wait to try it, use it for approximately three days and then let it collect dust in my basement. So excited!
Katy,
I jumped into my “Nothing” box and was able to read the entire post. I’ve discovered that I actually excel at “nothing.”
Love you,
Dad
@GMan You were strictly instructed not to read any further!
Good luck! Happy May Day!!
I would be sad if you didn’t blog because it is good stuff…like spaghetti.
mustloveleftovers I second that!!
ChristyB mustloveleftovers I third that!
Elissa R ChristyB mustloveleftovers Y’all made me smile! 🙂
When your Dad asked me at lunch if I had read your blog I told him no and asked what it was about. All he said was you were going to the doctor to get the IUD removed. That is what he got from the blog!! I think he missed the whole point! Hope you will be feeling better soon!
Love you!!!
Katy’s Mama lol
Katy’s Mama WHAT?!?!?!? You don’t read my blog THE MOMENT I publish it?
First thing that comes to mind is “OH, you poor kid” (with that hug again). But your so FUNNY….I chuckle all through it, but not the bad stuff you’ve got goin’ on. So in between the chuckles I wish you all the best gettin’ rid of all that garbage! Dona
PS….love reading your parents comments!
imklvr Yup. My parents are regular comedians alright. 🙂 Thanks for the hugs, Dona!!!
Hi Katy, i’m so sorry to read about your horrible experience. I recently read on pinterest of a thing called the lady comp which women can use to avoid a pregnancy. I dont have one yet but definitely want to invest in one, it costs like $500 🙁 You can research it and see if it is something for you or not. Hope everything went well!