How to Avoid the WORST Part of Thanksgiving

If you’ve been around this blog for more than a millisecond, you may have noticed that I’m not the world’s greatest—how should I put this…?

[Human?]

…homemaker. I’m not much of a homemaker.

Sure, I love to decorate. Sometimes. Though, you should probably disregard the picture frame that is the focal point in our living room. The one that currently sits between the piano and the Christmas tree. This frame contains the most darling photo of a young boy who probably made more money as a child model than I’ll ever make as a blogger.

Yes, it’s the photo that came with the frame. It’s been that way for a year. Ever since I ripped up the photo that was originally in the frame.

But that’s another story for another day.

Homemaking is certainly a challenge for me. Not so much intellectually as it is a battle of the will. Which is why I would probably sell one of my kidneys before I would get rid of our housekeeper.

Despite the fact that I’m domestically challenged in so many ways, I do still enjoy cooking. Really, I do. It’s just the planning, shopping, preparing, burning, remaking, and cleaning that drag me down. Thanksgiving is essentially the culmination of all the things I don’t do well wrapped into one, pressure-filled holiday.

[Someone needs to consider doing 30 Days of Gratitude on Facebook.]

Still, I suppose Thanksgiving could be worse.

I could be a turkey.

Fortunately for my fellow domestically-challenged readers, I have come up with a solution to one of those Thanksgiving Day ills. A way to get out of my least favorite chore: washing dishes.

I posted this video last Thanksgiving, and it’s still one of my favorites. I don’t know why. Maybe because I have relatives who actually use those techniques. I’m not naming any names here, but I sure am tempted.

[That’s awfully passive-aggressive for a Thanksgiving post.]

In all seriousness I do want to say that I’m as thankful this year as I’ve ever been. One year ago today was literally the worst day of my life. And though I haven’t shared much about it (yet), I do want you all to know that God has taught me more about His grace and forgiveness in 365 days than I ever dreamed possible. I’m so grateful. For my salvation. For my husband. For my children. For our family. I’m grateful for you, my blog readers. Some of you know me and some of you don’t, but I’m thankful that you take the time to read this craziness. Because, whether you know it or not, it has kept me going in the midst of my most difficult trials.

May God bless you all this Thanksgiving as you spend time with your families and as you boycott Target.

Just kidding, I’ll see you there. (Wink, wink.) 

I’ll be the one laughing at all the picketers screaming, “This is an outrage! You shouldn’t be shopping on Thanksgiving. It’s not fair to the employees. It’s unAmerican!”

And then I’ll retort:

“Why aren’t you boycotting the NFL? Isn’t football as frivolous as shopping? What about the poor players who have to work? And the coaches? And the officials? And the cheerleaders? And the stadium employees? And the parking attendants? And the TV network employees? And the cable company employees? Don’t you feel sorry for them too? DON’T YOU?!?”

And then we’ll all laugh and go buy the checkout clerks some Starbucks.

The End.