Confessions of a Valley Girl

My Dearest Readers,

I’d like to be able to tell you all that I live a carefree, exuberant life that is full of magical fairies and butterflies who chase me through lavender fields and tickle me. And that I’ve spent the past several weeks floating around on marshmallow clouds and drinking sparkling raindrops.

Weeeeeell, this just started like an acid trip.

(I don’t know that from experience, by the way.)

While I’m so aware of my blessings — salvation, my wonderful family, my amazing friends, and innumerable other things — I’m also aware of my trials.

Recently, I’m PAINFULLY aware of them.

I debated whether I should even write this because it’s not very becoming of a “humor blogger” to write for four months about unicorns and glitter and then start throwing the Black Plague and killer clowns at her loyal readers.

(Oh, will she just STOP with the horrible metaphors already?)

The truth is:  I’m in a valley.

I’m in the middle of the deepest valley I’ve encountered in my 31 years. Actually, I’ve been under a rock in a deep, dark hole at the bottom of a valley. And I just don’t get very good internet service down here.

(If she doesn’t stop with the metaphorical mumbo jumbo I’m going to throat punch her.)

I’m sorry to be so evasive, but the truth of what has transpired these past few weeks is just too painful to share right now. And (even though I joke about it) I really don’t want my kids to have a War and Peace book of issues to hand to their future therapists. I have a feeling they’ll have plenty of material without needing my narrated version of it.

But I will follow the Holy Spirit as he leads. And if the time comes to write more, I will certainly share my “Confessions from the Valley.” Because I hope and pray that it will be the kind of story that makes you stop and say, “Only God could have turned that into something good.” I’m praying SO HARD for that to be my story…

The real purpose of this post today is not to give you the most annoyingly evasive story in history. Rather, I want to let you all know that your kind words (mostly through email, Facebook and Twitter) have meant more to me than I can possibly express. I’m humbled and honestly a little baffled that you have missed my stories about skinny jeans and gluten free cookies. I’m so grateful that you lend me your “ears” and allow me this space to laugh.

But the truth is that life just isn’t very funny right now.

Well, I could probably turn on my webcam and give us all a good laugh, but I’m just not ready to let the world see my cry face. Y’all, I’m not kidding. If I ever become an actress, I’m going to have to create a different cry face. The world just isn’t ready for mine.

Oh! I did go to New York City last weekend with my mom and my aunt and got majorly photo bombed. So that was funny.

I love that woman. Don’t even know her but seriously love her.

Also, my outfit is pretty funny.

Then, we witnessed a skateboard Santa flash mob. So that was pretty funny.

Then there were these 60- or 70-year-old identical twins who still felt the need to dress identically. I followed them around a good while trying to get a decent photo of their matching boots, scarves, fur coats, purses, gloves and hairstyles — all designer, of course…except for the hairstyles. This photo was the best I could do, but you get the idea.

That is what keeps therapists in business.

And don’t even get me started on my $40 deli sandwich that I ate next to a complete stranger while the waitress treated me like I was an inconvenient bunion rather than a customer.

Carnegie Deli?

No. Carnegie Smelly. That’s what I’m going to call them from this point forward.

And then there is the realization that if Ricky Martin can make it on Broadway…

…or Billy Ray Haircut…

…then I may actually have a shot.

Okay, so I guess it is possible to find humor in the middle of the valley. And, you know, my own words have come back to bite me in the behind here since it is this very type of pain that made me want to start this blog in the first place. Remember?

God willing, I want to continue to write and make ridiculous videos here. Through the tears. Through the laughter. And until God calls me to do something else.

I’m so thankful for you all.

I’m so thankful for laughter through adversity.

I’m so thankful for joy that transcends circumstances.

And I’m also thankful for comfort food. So, please pass the Twinkies.

Wait…WHAT? You mean they’re…?

Crap.

See, that’s what happens when you’re living under a rock in a deep, dark hole at the bottom of a valley. You don’t get the memo.

In all seriousness I want to thank you guys for reading this mess of a post from this mess of a blogger. I pray that God will give me the strength and desire to continue to find the humor in my life. And the ability to subject you to it every so often.

Yup.

Now you can go ahead and mail me those Twinkies you’re all hoarding.

Love,

~Katy (in a Corner…in a Fetal Position)

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23 (Emphasis mine)