Guyyyyyyyys, WHERE have you been? I’ve been looking everywhere for you!
[Huh? Wait a minute…SHE’S the one who didn’t post anything for a week! So, why is she looking for us?]
I’m confused. Have you been looking for me?
[Why does she keep having these stupid conversations with herself?]
Have y’all seen my medication lately?
Kid-ding.
Okay, I’m back from a little hiatus I like to call “One Track Mind.” I got it in my little head last week that I should do a bit of gardening. You know, since we went straight from snowstorms to the blazing fire of Hades in a single day. (Seriously, Kansas, you’re turning me into one of those people who talks about the weather non-stop. I reached an all-time low when I posted a picture of an umbrella hat on my Facebook page.)
And there’s something you should know about me. When I get it in my mind that I want to do something, I CAN’T STOP until I do that thing. I have literally been in our yard day and night since I decided to “do a bit of weeding” last week.
[Did she seriously just tell the world that she slacked off on this blog because of WEEDING?]
Just hear me out.
It all started when we moved in last year and took one look at the toxic dump that was our yard.
We agreed when we moved in that we wouldn’t spend hundreds of dollars on curb appeal for two reasons: 1) we live in a house on a military post that we probably won’t live in a year from now and 2) we’d rather spend our money on a new MacBook Pro with Retina display. But, y’all, I just couldn’t take it any more.
I was like Martha Stewart in a jail cell. I knew I wouldn’t be here long, but I couldn’t help but decorate it anyway.
So, I got to weeding. And cleaning.
And cultivating. And digging. And planting. And applying sunscreen because I burned the CRAP out of my ears. Seriously, it’s like I have amnesia every spring. The sun is hot again this year? Imagine that.
In the process of cleaning up our yard, I determined that many, many Barbies lost their lives—and their shoes—here. Here is just a bit of what I have found since I started “a bit of weeding” last week:
– Barbie shoes
– Fake Christmas tree limbs
– Fake berries (I assume from a Christmas wreath)
– Plastic, toy pliers
– Metal bolts
– Broken bricks
– Paper-mâché
– Staples
– Bullets
– A brass light fixture
– Lawnmower parts
…and I’m still digging.
It looks like a tornado came through Kansas one day and concentrated directly over our yard.
Either a tornado or children.
So, I spent the better part of a week hauling off trash, pulling thistles, pulling thistle thorns out of my fingers, pulling dandelions, uprooting shrubs (you didn’t hear me say that, though), transplanting grass, and basically working harder than I have in approximately…31 years.
And do you know what I have to show for it…
…besides the satisfaction of hard work and a lovely front walkway?
A rash.
I’m officially allergic to yard work.
Unrelated: Brian has blocked WebMD from every device we own.
Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get.
– H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
your front garden looks wonderful!! so sorry about the rash!! (notice i used the word “garden” !)
@susan After all that time in Britain, I can’t help but say “garden” in place of “yard.” 🙂
Katy,
Looks great!! When are you coming home? (There’s no place like home! Sorry, couldn’t resist. ) Our flower beds could use some of your “weedin”.
@GMan I was just going to ask when you’re coming here to help me. I know you’ll do lots of manual labor for little more than Cheetos.
You are a gem…I look forward to reading your posts. Everytime I see one in my inbox I smile…before I even read it because I just know I’m gonna love it.
Adrienn Well, shoot, Adrienn! You just made my day!
I must say, your posts are always worth waiting for!! And the yard does look beautiful. The leg’s not bad either….except for the rash.
imklvr Why, thank you so much! I’m pretty fond of the rash myself. It distracts from my pasty white skin.
Wow your yard looks great!!!!! I have a little bit of craft ADD and .. well ADD in general, i get distracted very easily… So I started working in our yard, after I left some picture frames empty, and the rest of their “fillings” on my craft table, because, well, all of our neighbors were working on their yards. My husband bought some peppers for his garden, and I wanted to clean the bed of the tree, but I just did half of it. I had to cut lots of sprouts and ugh all the roots were driving me crazaaaaaaayyy! Then I decided to stain the ugly bar stools, and see, because I’m a pinterest addict, and I’ve seen billions of tutorials online, I figure it would be super fast… that was last week, just today, I finished sanding, and did one coat of stain on the upper part of the chair. I was just wondering what do the DIY bloggers, give their kids for napping?????? Because my 2 and a half tornado doesn’t….
I guess I should trim the bushes while I wait for the chair to dry …..