If you happen to check out my Facebook or Instagram pages, you’ll notice that there are lots of photos of JJ playing with trains. He eats with his trains. He sleeps with them. He dreams about them (so we learned when he woke up once from a nap and yelled, “train tracks!”). When we get in the car to leave the house he says, “No! I want to go back home and play with trains!” And when we finally convince him that we have to leave the house at least once a month, he says, “I want to go to the store [Barnes & Noble] and play with trains [they have a train table]” or “Let’s find some train tracks.”
Just last night when we told him it was time for bed, he whined, “But I want to play with my trains.” Never mind the fact that we have permanently set up a train track 2 feet from his bed so that he can get his fix at all hours of the night.
Naturally, JJ’s favorite show is Thomas & Friends. I do love that my 3-year-old now says things like “very well, then” and “Mama is cross” with a slight English accent, but I grew concerned about the show when I was invited by JJ to play trains in the basement last week.
“Mama, you can play with Gordon and two freight cars.”
This was a big deal. He doesn’t easily give up his freight cars.
I played with Gordon and the freight cars while JJ played with Thomas, Percy, and about 20 other freight cars. He had them chugging and shunting and saying other socialist things he’d heard on the show like, “Nobody is special” and “We’re all equally useful” and “Universal health care is not so bad.” I’m totally kidding about that last sentence.
[Really, Katy? If you start talking politics, I’ll click out of here so fast…”]
Out of nowhere, JJ says, “Look, Mama, Percy and Thomas are necking.”
I gave my instinctive “mmm hmm” at first before I really heard him. “Wait…they’re what?”
Has he been hanging around my parents too long? That is soooooo 1976, JJ. People these days don’t call it necking, they…forget it. All I know is G-man and Precious are going to get a talking-to before they babysit again.
I said it again, “They’re what?!?”
“Necking, mama. Necking.”
His eyes never left his trains as they navigated their way around the overpriced, wooden tracks. I was silent, and he could tell this meant I still wasn’t sure what he meant.
“THEY’RE NECKING!”
“Don’t raise your voice at me, son. I’m trying to understand. Necking…necking.”
I stared at the row of trains hoping they would provide some clarification. Hoping beyond hope that there wasn’t actually an episode of Thomas and Friends where they discussed necking. Socialism is one thing, but I draw the line when my 3-year-old learns about foreplay from a “steamy” engine.
And then it dawned on me…
“They’re connecting? Are Thomas and Percy connecting?”
Magnetic trains will do that.
“Yes, mama! They’re necking.”
Whew! All I could think was that I dodged that uncomfortable conversation for a while.
I’m so not ready for THE TALK, y’all. So. Not. Prepared.
“But, son, let’s talk about capitalism for a minute…”
My son will be 3 next week and is equally as obsessed with trains! He’s requested a train cake for his birthday. … well see if I can pull that off lol!
Oh my goodness, that is funny! I was trying to figure it out and came up with nothing so I applaud you on the “connecting” lightbulb.
And the talk is never easy. I am due with #2 and am putting it of for well, her wedding night, perhaps??
Katy, you know that I’ve spent a lot of time playing trains with JJ but that comment had me stumped as well. As I was reading I kept saying to myself, “no way did he get that from me….Precious maybe but not me.” 🙂 Anyhow, glad you figured it out before my next adventure in Thomas Land.
The most surprising thing about this blog post is that Thomas is a socialist, I really had no idea, but it makes perfect sense. Although I think the people who make and sell Thomas the Train stuff are capitalists FOR SURE.
That’s hilarious. My son is obsessed with Thomas also. It’s been a great tool for us, as we have never had much luck getting our kids to pick-up after themselves. Now I just announce, “I need some useful engines to clean up the living room,” and magically they pick up their toys while saying things like “I’m a very useful engine,” and “Thomas and James will be so proud of me.” I also think it’s cute when he says that someone is “cross” with him.
Katy,
He might have picked up that word from me. It wasn’t on my “LIST” of words I am not allowed to say. Like blood, murder, crap, etc. We might need to add it!
Love you,
Precious
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mama. There is no such list. But, if we had a list, we should probably add “you’ve gotta be friggin’ kidding me” to it. And I don’t remember asking you not to say blood. Murder, maybe. But not blood.