I once got my entire family (grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles and cousins) kicked out of Walmart.
Do you know how difficult it is to get kicked out of Walmart? Have you seen People of Walmart?
I don’t think they would even kick out a vengeful leper carrying a rabid armadillo. But we sure got kicked out…all because of me.
Here’s the Reader’s Digest version of what happened:
I lived in England for a year while I was in college.
I became a bit more “European” in my style of dress.
When I returned home, my friends called me “Euro trash.”
I have great friends.
My family had a reunion shortly after my return from England.
We had a scavenger hunt in Walmart.
I have a great family.
I wore one of my “Euro trash” outfits to this scavenger hunt in Walmart.
The management swore we were gypsies and kicked us out.
My whole family looks like they stepped straight out of Mayberry.
Except for “Euro trash” Katy.
I was blamed.
The entire thing was captured on camera.
I have a great family.
So, that’s what happened. Apparently, to the untrained eye, “Euro trash Katy” looks an awful lot like a gypsy. And I suppose Walmart has a strict no-gypsy policy.
But this whole thing is so funny to me now given my transient, military lifestyle. (Not the wardrobe malfunction and the pejorative connotations. I mean just the traveling part.)
This past weekend we left our home in Kansas to temporarily move into a two bedroom apartment in Montgomery, Alabama. My husband has an 8 week training course here, so we all decided to head south for the winter.
The apartment we rented in Montgomery has everything we need: kitchen, bathroom, a bedroom where our son is now sound asleep, and a walk-in closet where our one-year-old daughter is screaming and no doubt compiling mental notes for future therapy sessions.
Therapist: So, Averi, why did you decide to live here in Europe and not in your native America?
Averi: Because European countries have wardrobes instead of closets.
Therapist: I don’t undersand. Can you tell me more?
Averi: My parents once made me sleep in a closet for 8 weeks, and I haven’t been able to even look at one since.
Therapist: Did they LOCK you in that closet?
Averi: No. They were just too cheap to get a 3 bedroom apartment, so they made me sleep in their walk-in closet.
Therapist: Mmm hmm. Is that really why you decided to move to Europe?
Averi: Actually…no. I just really like the clothes over here.
Therapist: Yes. I see. You do strike me as the “Euro trash” type.
Averi: Apparently, it runs in the family. You know, my mom was once kicked out of Walmart.
Therapist: WHAT? Do you know how hard it is to get kicked out of Walmart?
Averi: Yeah. She’s THAT bad.
Anyhow, in case you’re concerned, both of our children have adjusted well to the change of scenery.
I think JJ would be content to spend 8 weeks in a walk-in closet as long as it had room for a coffee table and a few cars. Here he was last night in our living room/office.
Averi may live to tell a different story. We’ll have to wait until she can talk to find out.
Sure, our quarters are a bit cramped, but we’re happy to be in Sweet Home (for now) Alabama!
Seven years as a military spouse, and I’ve never experienced boredom. Can’t put a price on that.
Stay tuned, friends. I brought my computer(s) along, so the fun will continue here in the capital city of Alabama. I still have one more Presidential video to reveal. Just as soon as I get this place unpacked…
Can’t believe you moved out there for such a short time (You know you’re a military spouse when say things like “It’s ONLY eight weeks”) 🙂 Have fun in AL!
Funny. We moved in w my parents this past weekend (for 3 months, give or take) and we refer to our walk-in closet as our daughter’s room. Her crib, changing table, dresser, rocking chair, shoes, clothes, my clothes, my husband’s clothes… all in there. My son has one of the rooms down the hall. Hmm.
Haha! Every time we go visit my grandmother, my son sleeps in a pack n play in her walk-in closet. He’s only one, so he’s not complaining (yet).
Happy to hear I’m not the only “closet parent” out there.
I got kicked out of Wal-mart once. I was doing a mystery shop on the magazines near their cash registers. Apparently, I wasn’t doing a good job of being mysterious. They asked me to leave. And walk-in closets these days are probably bigger than the bedrooms of a couple generations ago.
@KateHall Got to work on that mysterious thing. That hilarious!
I’m pretty sure I’m going to need to see a picture of your “Euro-trash” outfit. You know, so I don’t get kicked out of Wal-Mart, too.
I’ll have to dig one of these photos out from the deep, dark depths of my hard drive. I don’t go there often. My college transcripts are there as well.