What Politicians Could Learn from Kids Shows

It horrifies my mother that my family doesn’t have television. She can’t understand that kind of silence and how it could be healthy for a person. As if network television is the stuff that sanity is made of? My mom and I are different that way.

We own a TV, but it has an integrated VCR. Remember those? I’m pretty sure this thing roamed the earth with the dinosaurs.

And speaking of dinosaurs, I was suffering through another episode of kid-friendly programming this week. And by “suffering through” I’ll honestly tell you that I was playing Matching with Friends on my iPhone while my son was watching Barney on the iPad. Thanks to Netflix and their “recommended viewing” list, my son discovered it. So I had to listen to that big, dumb dinosaur for (editing myself here)…30 minutes. Maybe more.

But the beauty of the iPad is that it’s easy to conceal. “Sorry, honey, the iPad is all gone. No more Barney for today.” I can’t imagine the constant noise of kid’s programming all day long – much less the constant noise of political rhetoric and analysis all day long. Honestly, in this current political climate, I can’t think of anything I desire LESS than a working television. Except for bedbugs. Or maybe for Charlie Sheen to babysit my kids.

My point is that our media and our politicians make it 100% impossible for me to watch more than a 15 second video online before I consider moving to Canada. And I hate the cold. And syrup.

But it occurred to me this week that our elected officials could learn a thing or two about how to help America by watching kids shows. For instance:

Thomas and Friends:  “…they’re the really useful crew. All with different roles to play…” If you want to be a “really useful” engine, stop goofing off by slinging mud, and get your butt back to the shed to do some real work!

Barney and Friends:  “Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere. Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share.” You make a mess, you clean it up. If the kid before you makes a mess, and then you come in and then also make a mess, you are BOTH responsible for cleaning up the mess! It’s still a stinking mess!

Dora the Explorer:  Diversity? Check. Goal-setting? Check. Love for animals? Check. My retirement fund? What the…HEY! Swiper swiped my retirement fund! Lesson:  Keep an eye out for those sneaky foxes.

Wonderpets:  “What’s going to work? TEAMWORK.” Sixteen trillion dollars in debt? This. Is. Sewious.

Sesame Street:  I don’t think The Count would ever make it to sixteen trillion dollars. “Ah ah ah.” So, how can we justify this kind of debt to our kids and grandkids?

Super Why!: “Who’s got the power? The power to read.” If you haven’t read it and/or can’t understand it, should you be making laws about it?

I could go on and on.… What are some of your ideas for what politicians could learn from kids programming? Because, let’s be honest, that’s pretty much all I’m watching these days.

Side note:  If you play Matching with Friends and want to play someone who is horrible and refuses to pay money for coins, send me a message via the contact page with your screen name.