As I walked alone through the produce department of my local grocery store (as SLOWLY as possible…because, I repeat, I was ALONE), I just barely heard something from the bottom of my purse whistling The Andy Griffith Show theme song. No tune could better describe the person on the other end of that ringtone, and […]
I give it a week before WebMD confirms this is an actual condition. And then a drug company picks up on it and develops a medicated cream called Prescription Scribeoflex.
There’s a very good reason I don’t like to leave the house with my kids. Actually, there are many good reasons I don’t like to leave the house with my kids, but I only want to discuss one of them today.
You know when you watch news coverage of inclement weather–a hurricane, for instance–and there’s always that one, special kind of idiot who decides they will brave the storm? And then the rescue workers have to risk their lives to save this person from their own stupidity? And the person is all, “Wow! Thank you so […]
Before I announce the winner of the Celebrate Stupidity Giveaway, I want to share with you a photo I took this morning from inside our house with the door only slightly cracked in order to avoid a face-full of snow.
I think a smile is one of the most important external features on a person. Because smiles are contagious. Have you ever heard of someone catching an eye twitch from another person? Of couse not! Or a cold sore? Wait, forget that one. My point is that smiles are contagious. For that very reason, they […]
You know when you’re shopping on Amazon.com, and you accidentally buy two of something? And you don’t even realize it? And all of a sudden the UPS man shows up at your house with TWO 4-slice toasters? Yup.
As I perused aisle after aisle of cheap, kitschy Valentine’s Day crap in Target yesterday, I had a flashback to what this holiday was like when I was a child. Those days when my happiness actually revolved around whether or not some cute boy’s mom went to the trouble of buying me heart-shaped erasers and […]
