1) Which is more effective, duct tape or zip ties?
2) My 10-month-old thinks it’s cute to spit her food at me each time I give her a spoonful. Is she too young to flick really hard on the nose?
3) Will it damage my kids’ ears if I turn up the music so loud in the car that I can no longer hear them?
4) I’ve been searching the web and can’t seem to find whether or not there is something called a “tantrum cage.” Preferably a padded one (more humane). Any suggestions?
5) Are there boarding schools for toddlers? For babies?
6) If I forget to feed my kid dinner, should I wake him up to eat?
7) If another kid throws a rock at my kid, can I legally throw a rock at that kid and also his mother?
8) How much damage will I really do if my kid eats only chicken nuggets and pizza for two weeks straight?
9) Do government agencies have some kind of program that trolls the web looking for these types of questions? If so, what are the key words to avoid?
And finally…
10) If I poke holes in the box it’s okay, right?
Okay, funny people, your turn! What are some of your questions a mother should not ask on an internet forum?
PS – Y’all blew my slippers off yesterday with all the comments and social media love about the “How to be a Perfect Mother” video! I’m already so pumped about next week’s How-to Tuesday…
11. How many times is one allowed to call Poison Control about the same child before they send a representative from DFACS out to “investigate”?
PS: Number one almost made me spew my coffee.
11. Dimetap is a children’s sleep aid, right?
12. What is the poop tolerance of tub drains? IE, if my kid poop in the bath, how much can I rinse down the drain before causing damage to the pipes? Because I REALLY don’t want to pick that up…
Also, the answer to #1 is duct tape. Zip ties can only restrain, I mean “hold together”, not silence… 😀
Love it!
1) How much dirt is too much for my toddler to eat?
2) Is it bad that my babies first word is “Beer”?
3) Why do other moms stare at me when I breastfeed them at the public pool?
4) I think my kid is allergic to our new puppy…who can I call to take my kid?
5) Are underwear optional according to the school dress code?
6) My kid drank out of my cup. It happened to be filled with rum…now he’s asleep. Is that bad?
7) Can I legally send my kid to school in his PJ’s and no shoes on days we run late?
8) Why do people give me dirty looks when I bring my baby to an all day outdoor concert when it’s 103 degrees outside?
9) At what age can I give my kid soda in his sippy cup?
Just a few…off the top of my head.