Puppet Enemy #1

Happy election day! Or, as I like to call it, “The day when we vote for the individual who will bring us one step closer to actually keeping up with the Kardashians.”

Y’all, I am so excited to have this election past us. Can’t we all just go out for a frozen yogurt after this is over and talk about the good ‘ole days when we were free from political corruption and media bias?

Like when Bill Clinton was President…wait…or

Maybe when Richard Nixon was…

Never mind. It would be a short conversation.

I guess this kind of craziness is 100% expected in a fallen world like ours. So, I’ll change the subject to 3 things about my weekend that were more enjoyable than a discussion about politics:

1)  I had a colonoscopy. Without drugs.
2)  Then, my husband got pulled over by the police.
3)  And then we watched an all-day marathon of The View.

And while any of these is preferable to further political discussions, only one of them is true.

Yes, one of Georgia’s finest State Patrol officers caught my hubby breaking the law within mere inches of the Alabama/Georgia line. That dirty criminal! (My husband…not the cop.)

In fairness, it was a benign violation related to the vehicle itself and will not cost us any points on our insurance. Which means my husband spared himself hours worth of nagging.

What is humorous now but was not so humorous at the time is that I was actually on the phone with Brian when it happened at 12:30 a.m. on Monday morning. The conversation went like this:

Me:  (Yawn) I’m sooooooo tired. I think I’m going to go ahead and go to bed now.

Brian:  Um…I’m going to have to call you back.

Me:  Why?

Brian:  Because this cop is about to pull me over.

Me:  WHAT? Why? Were you speeding? I specifically asked you not to speed!

Brian:  Katy, this is not really a good time. I’ll call you later…

So, I waited a few moments and received the following text where Brian explained the nature of his violation to me:

It appears that Georgia’s finest don’t see the likes of Patty Kate in many passenger seats. Which is a shame, because she really is a fantastic employee.

I can just picture this cop as he walked up to my husband who was seated in this big, manly truck. The officer held his heavy, aluminum flashlight along with his billy club in the event this stop got out of hand. The beacon of light shone through the tinted windows as this seasoned officer looked for contraband.

The beam of light falls on the passenger seat to reveal what is quite possibly the most shocking thing for a State Patrol officer to find on the graveyard shift:

Brian says the officer took one look at the puppet, then looked at Brian who was a bit embarrassed that Patty was in such a “human” position in the vehicle (except he didn’t even buckle her seat belt). Brian blurted out, “It’s my wife’s puppet.” To which the officer replied, “That’s really weird.”

What? Like’s he’s never seen a puppet riding shotgun before?

So, she’s been our employee for less than a week, and Patty’s already in trouble with the law. I think we’ll have to let her explain herself one of these days…